Aung San Suu Kyi, Nobel Peace Prize winner (video)
Rabbi Hillel teaches:
If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
But if I am for myself alone, what am I?
And if not now, when?
Rabbi Hillel lived in the first century of the common era; he was an older contemporary of Jesus. Perhaps he was even Jesus’ teacher! Rabbi Hillel often taught about Mentschlichkeit (how to be a humane person), as in this famous quote above. His first Principle of Mentschlichkeit is “If I am not for myself, who will be for me?” Hillel teaches that others respect us and treat us as a mentsch if that’s how we treat ourselves. We are “for” ourselves if, even with our many failings or shortcomings, when we treat ourselves with respect.
Each of us is complex, filled with competing, even irreconcilable emotions, urges, and beliefs. We are neither angels nor devils. Human beings exhibit two categories of inclinations or drives: to do good and to do evil. A person is a mentsch not because s/he weeds out all negative traits, because that’s impossible; in the end, being human means sometimes doing wrong or making mistakes. A person is a mentsch because s/he strengthens his/her positive traits, and also re-directs the negative traits in a positive direction. A person is a mentsch, not because s/he is always successful in doing this, but because he/she always struggles honestly to live this way.
Being a mentsch, being for ourselves, means that we pay attention to both our yeitzeir ra, our inclination to do evil, and our yeitzeir tov, our inclination to do good. A real mentsch acknowledges his/her capacity for both and accepts the confusion and conflict these competing drives raise as a fact of human life. Before one becomes a mentsch one may deny one’s actions are influenced by the yeitzeir ra, yet one quite readily points out its influence in other people. When we unable to see the presence of the yeitzeir ra in ourselves, we also lose sight of the yeitzeir tov, the goodness, in us.
Completing the following sentences will help you to work on Hillel’s first principle. In the left hand column list the things that you really don’t like about yourself. Then go to the top of right hand column and say to yourself, “Yes, at times I’m (fill in the word from your list), but I also sometimes…” Fill in the blank with the positive character trait that balances the negative one.
If nothing comes to mind, skip to another word. If you come up with a negative that is not balanced, ask yourself if it is true that this trait really has no positive element or counterpart. If the answer is “yes,” list attitudes and behaviors that would balance the negative and that you might try consciously to develop or employ.
Doing the Work of Becoming a Mentsch
Yes, it’s true that sometimes I ___________________, but I also sometimes ____________________.
Yes, it’s true that sometimes I ___________________, but I also sometimes ____________________.
Yes, it’s true that sometimes I ___________________, but I also sometimes ____________________.
Yes, it’s true that sometimes I ___________________, but I also sometimes ____________________.
Yes, it’s true that sometimes I ___________________, but I also sometimes ____________________.
Yes, it’s true that sometimes I ___________________, but I also sometimes ____________________.
Yes, it’s true that sometimes I ___________________, but I also sometimes ____________________.
Yes, it’s true that sometimes I ___________________, but I also sometimes ____________________.
Yes, it’s true that sometimes I ___________________, but I also sometimes ____________________.
Yes, it’s true that sometimes I ___________________, but I also sometimes ____________________.
Yes, it’s true that sometimes I ___________________, but I also sometimes ____________________.
Yes, it’s true that sometimes I ___________________, but I also sometimes ____________________.